Goodbye, Mother in Law

Most of you may know by now, but I wanted to blog about losing my mother in law last week.  I'm not going to put a lot of detail in this post because it was a very trying time for our family and it may be hard to read later on in life.  Of course I say that, but ya'll know how I am and I will end up telling everything before it's all over.

On March 12, a Wednesday evening, I was just starting supper when Maynard came in from work with a worried look on his face.  He said we need to get Mom to the hospital  She is passing blood really bad.  So I turn everything off and we run out the door looking like a bunch of orphans.  I'm not even sure I had brushed my hair or even Amelia's that day.  We got to the hospital and waited in the waiting room for about an hour before they took my Mother in law back.  Once they started checking her we finally realized how serious this was.  She wasn't just bleeding, but she was hemoragging.  It was so bad they couldn't check her to actually see where the bleeding was coming from.  She went from bad shape to critical in only minutes.  She was started on units of blood while preparations were made to send her by ambulance to UK Healthcare center.

My Pastor and his family came to get my kids and me, Maynard and Tara drove on to Lexington.

My MIL was in ER and the bleeding hadn't slowed at all.  She was still receiving blood and no tests could be done to see where the bleeding was coming from because every test would have been hard to read with so much blood loss.  After a few hours of being there she was placed on life support.  We were exhausted and nervous wrecks.  We sat up all night waiting, hoping for good news, but none came.

She was moved to ICU the next afternoon.  That's where she remained for 7 more days.  Finally a couple of days later the bleeding had stopped.  They had found bleeding ulcers and a vessel in her stomach had ruptured.  She was showing signs of getting better.  It was on a Sunday when they started pulling all the tubes off of her and she was talking to us a little bit.  Maynard's brother and his wife offered to stay with her that night so we could home and see our kids.  We hadn't been away from her bedside now in 4 days.  We had been sleeping in chairs in her room or the waiting rooms.  She was in too bad a shape to leave her.  Since Frankie offered to stay with her that night, we went home and got our kids.  They were missing us so bad.  Josiah said God answered his prayer that night when we got there to pick him up.  We spent some time with them and then went to bed. 

We got that dreaded phone call at 2 in the morning that my MIL was hemoragging again. 

This time we just packed the kids and their stuff up and headed back to the hospital by Monday afternoon.  The Lord blessed up with offerings that was able to help us get a motel room for 3 nights because I knew the kids wouldn't be able to stay at the hospital 24/7 like we had.  I am super proud of my kids.  They behaved really well for me and stayed with us for 2 days. 2 days was about all I or they could handle though.  They were done and I was done.  I was texting my mom and asked her if maybe one of my sisters would be interested in keeping Amelia for a few days.  While I was texting her my sister in law, Michelle, text me and asked if she could keep the boys for a few days.  I started bawling.  In just about 5 minutes or less, I had sitters for my kids who were more than happy to watch my kids.  I am so thankful how it worked out.  My mom and dad came by the hospital that evening and got the kids.

On Friday night, Tara and I went to the motel to lay down and get some rest.  I never did get any rest, because I was so troubled that night.  Maynard had made the decision earlier that day to not allow them to put his mom back on the ventilator.  She absolutely hated it and it was clear that she wasn't going to get any better.  It was just going to prolong her suffering.  Her kidneys were failing and things wasn't looking good.

About 11:30 Maynard called and said the drs had come in and said she only had a few hours left to live.  I woke Tara up and we headed to the hospital.  We stood by her bedside and said our goodbyes.  We held her hand and sang songs, and prayed.  We felt like she would be gone just any time, but she held on as long as she could.

We had figured up that she had had at least 22 pints of blood while being in the hospital.  Maynard and I had both agreed that as soon as we got out of the hospital we were going to donate blood.  We had left my MIL's room to go grab us some breakfast when we noticed a blood drive was going on right across from the cafeteria.  We ate breakfast and then signed up to donate blood.  I'm not sure if it was the best idea ever for that time to give blood, but we did and were happy too.  Felt like we were giving back somehow for all the blood my MIL was given.

It wasn't too much longer and my MIL passed.  It had been about 15 hours since they called and said she wasn't going to make it.  Even though we knew it was going to happen and we were waiting for it to happen, it didn't make it any easier.  Me and Maynard were out in the cafeteria when we got word that it was time.  It scared us so bad I took off running.  She took her last breath.  I about passed out about 5 times.  I went in freak out mode.  I told myself the whole time that I was going to be strong for the family, but after loosing a pint of blood and running from the cafeteria, I dropped.  I couldn't lift my legs.  They felt like bricks.  I was so upset at myself.  I had nurses around me trying to help me.  They were laying cool cloths all over my face and neck.  I kept apologizing to Maynard, but I think it was from donating blood and then loosing my MIL was just overwhelming.  I'd say a bit of exhaustion had a lot to do with it too.

We left the hospital and headed for home.  Maynard wanted to go pick up the kids in Etown and then go home, but I honestly didn't have the strength to even take care of my kids at that point.  I missed them so bad and wanted to see them as bad as he did, but I knew they were in good hands.

We got home and my Pastor's family and my buddy Michelle had cleaned my house.  They was afraid I would be mad, but that couldn't have been further from the truth.  It felt good to come home to a clean house.  They had KFC ready for us to eat too.  We ate and then went to bed at 7:30 and slept until the next morning.

We were busy making funeral arrangements and spending time at my MIL's house getting it ready for company that was coming in.

My parents brought my kids to me 2 days later.  It sure was good to see them.  Maynard broke the news to them and Josiah and Amelia was heart broken.  I didn't think it would affect Amelia like that, but it did.  I knew Josiah would be grieved.  He was crazy about his Mamaw and she doted on him all the time.  Titus hugged Maynard, bit his lip, and then said, "I'm going to go find something to eat."  He never did cry.  I know he's bothered about it because he will mention how he misses her sometimes, but I guess he grieves differently than the rest of us.

The funeral has come and gone.

We were overwhelmed with the kindness of everyone during our loss.

First Pentecostal was amazing with their support and participation during the funeral services and even visits to the hospital.  They prepared an awesome meal after the funeral.  Home cooked food tastes pretty good after you haven't had it in almost 2 weeks.  I can't say enough how their love was shown for our family, Tara, and even my MIL.  So if any of you all are reading this, Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  Also, my family and church family was very supportive with their help watching my kids and even for offerings that was so needed.
A big thanks to my husband's boss for allowing him all the time he needed off work to be with his mother.  You don't see that everywhere and it sure was a blessing.

I can't name everyone because I will leave someone out, but we are truly thankful for family and friends God has blessed us with.

I will miss my MIL.  She was a praying woman.  I could ask her to pray about anything and she would.  Sometimes the need would have already been resolved and I had forgotten about it.  Then I would see her a little later and she would ask me about the situation.  She really was concerned about it.  If you asked her to pray, then she would.  We are going to miss her prayers.  I'm going to have to fill in the gap and it's going to be hard to do.

Keep my family in your prayers.  Maynard is crushed and still needs the Lord's help.  Tara's whole world is turned upside down and she needs prayer and guidance to what the Lord has in store for her.  Maynard promised his Mom that he would take care of Tara and that's what we intend to do.

Here's a few pictures of our journey>>>>>>>>>>>>>

This was Maynard's spot the whole time.  We had to make him leave to eat or sleep.

Tara giving her Mom permission to go on to Heaven.

Maynard donating blood.

Josiah's card for his mamaw.  I though he done a good job.

20 minutes after arriving at the hospital they had to eat.

Tara playing play doh with the kids in the waiting room.

So, I ended up giving you all more details then I had planned.  I left a lot out, believe me, but this was in general.  Again, thanks to everyone who helped watched my kids so I could be by my husband's side.